A 200-LB, 4-FT Venus

My mother is now the proud owner of a 200-pound, 4-foot tall solid concrete facsimile of the Venus Italica of Canova.  This Venus, even in approximation, is most assuredly not to be confused with the Louvre’s Winged Victory or with the sylph-like Venus on the Half Shell, and certainly not with Canova’s own other Venus (Venus Victorious, a nude portrait of Napoleon’s sister).  She’s a remarkably retiring, modest goddess, a normal-looking curvaceous lady clasping a swag of drapery to her bosom, not some tarted-up escapee from some adolescent Playboy fantasy, as so many classical female statues have been reconceived in reproduction.  Mums had a very definite idea of what she wanted for her garden nook, and it was little short of a miracle that we found her, in a huge antique mall in Jacksonville, Florida.  She was mislabeled as Athena (as if SHE would ever gad about in the buff!), and priced at less than a third of the cost of the same image listed online (not including shipping, which would be considerable).  It took two men straining mightily to lift her inside Mums’ Toyota Highlander.  I recommended that Mums ply some of the young men from her kickboxing class with baked goods in order to get her out of the car and into the garden once we're back home tomorrow, because there’s no way she and I can do it alone.  I can’t think of too many guys who would turn down an opportunity to manhandle a nude female sculpture and show off their own great musculature in exchange for home-cooked sweets...