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Friday, August 09, 2013

Morale Booster, Mood Calmer

I think one of the reasons that it has been good for an OCD person like me to have no romantic prospects for the last umpteen years is that I basically haven't had the opportunity to obsess over the possibilities and pitfalls of a relationship.  "Will he like me? Will he think I'm cute? Will he hate (or find irritating) x, y, z, characteristic? Will he think I'm dumb? What if he's perfect in every way but [a superficial element that's really a deal-breaker for me, like obesity]?" and so on and so forth just haven't been in my worry list for so long that I'd forgotten the frustration and agony of it all.  And I have heretofore approached my second foray into the world of online matching with a suitable detachment and bemusement. But then in the last couple of days someone popped up who instantly generated the "Gosh, he sounds so great!" response, which made my damaged female brain switch into overdrive, imagining all sorts of ridiculous scenarios that if he (or any one of my male friends and quite a few of my female ones) only knew of, they would think I am way, way, overboard and silly.  Argh! 

So, that's a negative side-effect of the dating-site membership: personal lunacy. A positive effect is that this afternoon I got a very nice message from a fellow in Chicago who noted that he had liked my profile and though "there's a slight age difference [...] I figure what's the harm in just saying hi". Curious as to the "slight age difference" (and sure that he was bound to be another grandpa), I checked his profile, and he's 24!  So, although I'm not interested (his age wasn't a factor), I was very flattered to be considered attractive by a person of his youth!

I haven't Skyped in so long that I had to look up my username before I shared it with the fellow who sounds promising.  Rachel told me that the quicker one moves to face-to-face contact with matches, the better, as one can sound wonderful in print and be disappointing in person--the reverse also being true, the NPV having apparently not appealed online but having been winning in person.  Since we aren't in the same time zone, I figured Skype was the next best thing to a coffee date.  We'll see: firstly, if he rings me (I told him it was up to him) and, secondly, if there's any chemistry when speaking directly. 

I applied for another job today.  Really, I just threw my hat into the ring with the contracting company that works with the agency where my friend Anita is a department head.  They say that they keep a pool of resumes for upcoming openings, so I submitted mine.  I followed the directions (and it's an IT company, yet!) for general submission, but somehow the system responded that I had applied for a slot with the DC government which requires advanced familiarity with Drupal, which sounded like a nuclear disaster, but apparently it's a programming language of some kind.  It will be amusing if I were to be called to interview for that slot, given that all other attempts at gainful employment for which I am amply qualified have come up short.

1 comment:

Barbara said...

I share the feelings in your first paragraph so much!(ie fears of "will he like me, will I like him"). Perhaps all females do who are "looking". And maybe even males. ;)