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Friday, November 08, 2013

Trifold Curses!

I am tremendously discouraged.

The woman whom I had hoped would offer me a job in my hometown told me that the employment opportunities there are nil, and was I moving there to get married?  That was the reason she'd come down from Manhatten after 8 years at Sotheby's. I caught myself before I responded, bluntly, "Hell, no!" And softened it a whit. Maybe she just thought I'd had to cough or something. Anita almost choked--she's never heard me swear.

I just feel like I an getting pounded, morale-wise. My LDC wrote that he doesn't agree with the New Testament mandate to marry a Christian (I'd brought up my objections to "missionary dating" in a previous email)--I've never even met the man in person and felt like kicking him vigorously in the shins. I took off work the past several days for this jewelry show at the conference, and my sales thus far don't begin to offset the expenses I've meantime incurred, much less the lost income from my regular job.  The left side of my head STILL aches three weeks after I pounded it on the corner of that brick wall when I fell. ObamaCare screwed up my old insurance (I don't need prenatal and obstetrical coverage!!!) and I had to shift to a plan costing $1000 more! I am sick and tired of having to present my academic and professional qualifications to strangers and their organizations ad nauseum, ad infinitum, in the waning hope that someone, somewhere, at last, will publish the Two Motherlands, Two Fatherlands translation and/or give me a decent job.

I've always worked hard. I'm not a complete moron. When I'm being useful, I'm cheerful. But this aching idleness is driving me almost to despair, despite all the self-reminders of episodes from my own history when I was really frighteningly far down and God set me on a new adventure...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Meanwhile, down here in your condo, plants are dying for lack of attention, and dust is collecting on plastic-wrapped furniture. Your house is begging to become a home. Outside, the roses are beautiful and the lantana thinks it's spring. Your neighbors wonder where you are and when you're going to actually BE here. Your car battery is going dead. Somewhere, a homeless kitty mourns and waits.

Over in Montclair, yo Mama desperately needs somebody to organize thousands of books. Her husband needs somebody to sell bike paraphernalia on Ebay. Your Grandmommy would love to see more of you. And there ARE jobs here, and if you get one, even a mindless one, there are lots of opportunities to be involved with art and antiques in your spare time--which you WOULD have, because here you won't have to work all the time to make ends meet, not that they're meeting there in DC. You might even be involved in ministry. Your Grandmommy considers a day basically wasted if she doesn't do something for others/the Lord during that day. You could be useful not only to yourself but to Jesus!