So, yesterday was more than a little rocky after I got the phonecall that they'd offered the job I really wanted to someone else, but I got through it. For one thing, I ran into my tenth grade science teacher at the consignment mall where I have a booth (I was over there to leave off four more lamps), and she and I ended up talking for an hour. And later, I had my second really good workout at the gym this week--I finally feel like the exercise of the last two months is beginning to pay off! But, as I told one of the several friends who expressed their sympathy on this turn of events, one of the reasons I was so profoundly disappointed this job wasn't offered to me is that it means I have to go back to the beginning again, to try to find something, anything, for which I might be qualified. I just want to be employed--I loathe the "dating game" of applications and interviews. JUST HIRE ME, somebody, please... I am not an idiot, and I'm usually cheerful.
It was kind of perverse hearing myself be so nice and positive on the phone when the lady called to tell me the hiring committee's decision--my mind went numb, (almost like it did at Daddy's pre-funeral visitation) and I smiled and sincerely expressed my pleasure that they'd for someone who was a hood fit for their office.
My mind is numb right now for another reason: I awoke at 3 AM (it is now 8) after less than four hours' sleep. I know I have many things to preoccupy me, and I've tried several techniques to encourage unconsciousness; however, nothing's worked so far. Argh! Am so very tired!!