Saturday, April 22, 2017

Work Day, Wedding Day

My eye is getting better, and Friday morning the doctor gave me the all clear to return to work. I like to work. I love lazing about, but there's nothing quite like earning a paycheck. And despite my being an introvert, I really like interacting with people, and three days of being mewed up in the house with no one to talk to but my smartphone was just too much. I needed those three days though; I was sick with a cold. Because having conjunctivitis wasn't enough in and of itself.

I swear, I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. My curriculum coordinator stopped by Thursday to show me some jewelry she needs repaired, and she noted that we should probably henceforth refer to small children as MPDs--mobile petri dishes. That acronym sounds appropriately combat-ready, doesn't it? My immune system is certainly war weary. I have been sick more often, and to a greater extent, in the last four months than I was in the previous four years.

For the time being, I am feeling hale and hearty. I went to a wedding this morning. Although most of the service was in Korean – the vows were in English--it followed the standard pattern for a Christian ceremony, from the exquisite bride processing on her father's arm to an exchange of rings which was entirely blocked from the view of the congregation by a scrum of professional photographers so intent on memorializing the moment that they rendered it invisible.

I was not invited to the evening reception, which was limited to foreign guests. I would have liked to have had some cake, and to have heard a few more tunes by the jazz band from Miami that was hired for the event, but I do not regret having missed the bouquet toss. Whereas in my 20s and early 30s I didn't mind being called out as a single lady, nowadays the designation in view of a romantic-minded public is one I generally avoid.

I would like to get married this year. As yet, however, I am not being courted by a solidly Christian, intelligent, kind, and humble guy who's neither ancient nor larval and who likes to cook. I was mulling over "must haves"... He needs to have a stable job (or perhaps I should say a stable set of marketable talents which he has a proven track record of using profitably?), savings, health insurance, and a diligent and faithful but not obsessive personality. He should like to travel and enjoy talking to people, yet also be comfortable being at home. He should have a creative hobby and like to go on long walks. He should speak at least two languages moderately well. We should have similar aesthetic values. He should be better at sharing his faith than I am. He should be the sort who can see through BS, but doesn't tear people down; a man who is not given to fits of anger, being neither violent or passive aggressive. And he needs to be cute and think I am, too. Is this all really that much to ask?

Of course, such an extensive list of "must haves" all makes me wonder what characteristics I possess that would complement that person. I'm faithful in relationships, and honest, but I also talk a lot. I am clean and don't mind keeping house, but I don't like cooking, and I am disorganized in many ways. I have several creative hobbies, but my reading has really suffered over the last few years, and as a consequence my intellectual underpinnings are wobbly. I am well-educated, but this has never afforded me a lucrative or even steady career. I am pretty diligent in prayer (at least the panicked "God, I can't do this without you" sort), but I am not faithful in my Bible reading or quiet times, despite weekly reminders that my spiritual health that depends on such daily nourishment (I wish I had a Bible study here--this would be great for fellowship and would keep me in a pattern--that's a prayer request). I am aware that the Lord has done great things for me, but thus far my testimony has yet to touch anyone that I know of. I work hard, but I don't have a lot of savings. I am better at managing my budget than I was, but sometimes I spend a lot (however, I don't like to shop, and so the things I buy are usually practical or artistically appealing, or both--I get good value for money!)

Honestly, spouse-seeking is even worse than job-seeking. I do wonder if I will ever meet someone who considers me not inadequate, not just adequate, but really superb as a partner for life, and about whom I feel the same?

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